An unlikely teacher....

from our yard

I was taking my usual walk around our yard this morning.

I love it most just after the sunrise...

Still, quiet yet awakening, stirring and alive.

Our climate is warm and tropical so there is so much life out there, so much movement.

A rustling in the leaves from the small lizards scurrying to hide..

The trees sway from the little tree frogs hurrying to get back to their safe places.

There they will spend the day, resting and preparing for their adventures of the night.

And the amazing sounds the breeze makes when it hits the bamboo..
A very unique sound, unlike any other, almost a hum...almost a whistle, but not quite.

The bamboo always catches my attention and holds it.

This morning as I was looking up into it's branches something stood out as interesting to me.

I noticed (suddenly) for the first time, that each new shoot that spouts from the ground somehow, magically, yet naturally, grows taller and stronger than the others...

Each time stretching, the collective, bamboo closer to the sky.

Now this is where that thought took me.

With a broad stroke I thought generationally.

My Grandparents, immigrants to this country, wanted better for their children, they wanted them to grow stronger, taller and collectively bring their family to a better place.

My parents wanted the same for me, as I do for my family.

Each generation wants the next to be bigger..taller...healthier...more vital as if we are giving each other a metaphorical leg up...bringing us closer to the sky.

And then I brought my thoughts in closer, more self centered (not always a bad thing, you know)
What if each day was a new shoot?

What if each new day was an opportunity to take ourselves to new heights?

What if one beautiful day, or one beautiful thought, could build upon the next and together
bring us closer to our clouds...

The bamboo taught me today what nature already knows....

And we are part of that magnificent design..

Our life..the sum if it all, is no different than the life of that tree..

When all is aligned and humming and we are listening for our soul, each day is a chance for us to grow bigger and more beautiful than yesterday...

Each breath is a new opportunity to bring us closer to the sky..

Sounds simple doesn't it?

The bamboo thinks it is.





Namaste

Can I get an Amen, an Ohm and a L'chaim?

Well this has been an interesting week on my spiritual path.

I am so excited to share it with you.

To begin with, I had a very interesting conversation with a dear friend of mine named Kate.

She lives in England is brilliant and is married to a Shaman.

I will share a bit of that conversation so you can see why I adore her so.

"In this modern world it's as if all the intuition and knowledge is taught OUT of us as we are conditioned to living a life that is designed to contain us. The system... All the knowledge we need, we are born with. Our journey is simply to recognise that and to listen to the Universe."

Kate got me thinking about many things.

My Coaching practice,

My soul,

And my early childhood steeped in the magic of Catholicism.

I vividly remember the wonder of it all.

The pagentry, the tradition, the beautiful robes and music.
The incense, oh how the smell of the incense still stirs my heart.

I remember coming out of mass as a child feeling so very small and insignificant in that big gold gilded world of the church.

It was such an external world, such a distracting world (for me.)

I was always being told to look out, to the congregation and clergy.

look up, to the heavens, to God.

Not much looking in,
Self reflection,
Personal questioning.

Now my life is full of wonderment of all different types.

This Thursday I attended a meditation class at my local Buddhist center.

Our teacher Norbu ( a lovely Buddhist monk via North Carolina, really! ) spoke of choice and of looking inward.

(see where this is going?)

The class was on anger and of many ways of dealing with it.

Rather than look out, or up, and search for external ways of design with anger,
he suggested we look in and find our own answers.

He assured us they were there.

The easiest was to counteract anger... was with love.

If you imagine the source of your anger, let's say an individual,
and then remember the things about that person that you love and the beautiful things they have done for you, you find the anger is quickly dissolved.

They are actually opposing forces.
Since love is rooted in compassion, and anger is designed to hurt, ourselves mostly.

It should come as no surprise that the two can not
exist simultaneously.

Now as if a good dose of Catholicism and Buddhism weren't enough for one week, for one being,
last night I joined my much better half at Friday night services at Tempke Kol Ami Emanu-el.

He has been attending conversion classes and asked that I attend as support.

Obviously I have no aversion to faith..all types of faith.

And wouldn't you know that Rabbi Harr's sermon was on nothing else than, choices, internal choices, looking in.

Do you see a trend? (smiling)

He read from the Torah and explained that all the learning one can do,
All the lessons one can take,
All the praying one can do will only, hopefully, get you to a place where you can look inside and search out your own answers, your own personal recipe for love, happiness, success and faith.

So here's my message for this week,
Whether you kneal on a pew,
sit crossed legged in front of an alter
or lovingly touch the Torah as it passes.

Please take all the lessons you have been lucky enough to learn in life and look inside yourself for your truth.

All the God we need,
all the Buddha we need
all the Allah we need is alive and well inside each and everyone of us.
















I know this to be true, because I have stepped inside the minds of many faiths this week and they all said the same thing.... in one mystical way or another....



Look IN not UP!



Namaste

On Grieving and Loss..

Today I thought I would share an old post of mine that I wrote a year and one day ago today.

It's a very personal story about the passing of my Mother that I find to be a worth while study on loss and coping.

We all have to find our own path across that difficult terrain towards healing.

Mine has always been to reflect, dig deep, and truly, LIVE, my feelings.
But then again I'm crazy that way (smile).

How do you cope with profound loss?

If you look at the self help section at any book store you find row after row of books on this exact topic.

That shows that there is
no one right answer on how to move forward.

It also shows that's its a very personal journey that you, and you alone can take.

So please read my journey and take with it what you need.

And perhaps share some of your own thoughts with me.




My Mother lived dying.


Her Mother, My Grandmother, Juana Bueno Perez died at the age of sixty two.

My Mother beat her.

As long as I can remember my Mom would say that she was going to die young just like her Mother.
She said that often, she believed it to be true and so it became truth.

But that was her story and these are mine.

Anna Maria Bueno Amador

my Mother

"Wake up Henry, she's gone."

Those were the words I heard by the Hospice nurse not ten minutes after I had, unwillingly, closed my eyes.

Exhaustion had gotten the best of me.

I knew my Mother would soon be gone, I had stayed awake and by her side for a day and a half.

Its funny how people still show such great concern for the living, when the dying lie just steps away.

Almost as if, siding with life, afraid of death grabbing hold.

"You need your rest young man."

"Have you eaten anything?"

"Why don't you go home for a while."

All those things made very little sense to me as I watched my Mother slipping away.

That time with her was miraculous for me..... I sat by her side and told her all the things I feared in life.

I shined a light on all my deepest, darkest places.

I knew she could hear me and  the words I spoke now would make her spirit all the more powerful when she was gone from my sight.

I knew my Mother would be my fiercest ally in death, much more profound then she was in life.

I do not believe that death reveals all.

I do not believe that things should ever be left un-said.

I do not believe that when you look down from Heaven that you are now all seeing, all knowing.

Words must be spoken in the here and the now.

There is no bliss in ignorance.

What we don't know can hurt us.

Those are lies created out of the fear that we are not worthy, that we are not good enough, that if we reveal all that we are, we will be left... alone.

This is one of humanities saddest truths, we are afraid of being alone, of dying alone.

Today, six years to the day of her death I am still uncovering things un-said.

I am still learning truths.. her truths, hidden out of love and protection for her only real reason for existing,

me .... her Son.

I am learning how keeping some things to ourselves can kill us, always spiritually and sometimes physically.

I am still. and will be for quite some time, seeing just were all these new pieces fit into my puzzle..

I do however promise this..

I will leave no words un-spoken.

I will not fear the consequences of such words.

I will never fear being alone, for within me lives my Mother.

And i will (for her) one day....many years from now, die living.



Namaste

There is a ME in MENTOR

I recently had a wonderful visit with one of my mentors.

Our relationship has spanned about 20 years.

When I was young and new in my industry I had the honor of working with this man on many exciting and important projects and adventures.

Because of him I met great and distinguished people.

I built relationships that I never could have without his guidance.

At this time,  he was completely on top of his game, he was absolutely calling the shots, he was the sole director of his lifes film and all those lucky enough to be privy to his brilliance had to pay a price.

I grew up somehow understanding that you had to pay your dues in life and especially in work.
That you had to understand and accept your place as you were climbing up your ladder.

I really knew very little about the circle this man travelled in, it was all new to me and yet somehow I knew that I was being positioned to learn, to grow and I was a willing participant, and an eager one at that.

I'll tell you a funny story about one of my visits to his home in NY when I was very young.

I was there while he was developing a product line, one that eventually grew into one of the largest and most popular the industry would ever see.

A line that now years after it's sale has allowed my mentor, his family, and many involved to live a blessed and wealthy life.
If you ask him what he does now, he smiles and says "I'm in arts and antiquities."
He has a collection that is beyond belief.

Anyway back to my story..
We were in his home when he got a call from his Barney's (the department store) salesman.

Apparently they had received some clothing that suited my mentor and so we promptly took a drive into the city.

He spent about an hour trying on some great pieces and although it appeared that he liked a lot of what he had tried on, we left without a bag in hand.

As much as I wanted to ask him why he didn't buy anything, my gut told me to be quiet.
And even back then, I listened to my gut.

The next morning when I woke, I showered and headed down for breakfast.

There, in the houses entry way. were about 8 boxes from Barneys, all of his acquisitions, tailored to his exact size, pressed and ready for business..

"hmmmmmmm" I thought to myself, "yes, this man has much to teach me."

Now I tell you all this because I have noticed a shift amongst the youth coming up and out professionally...

There is a sense of, dare I say, entitlement?

A, you have nothing to teach me, attitude.

A lack of willingness to put in the time, to pay those dues, to learn those lessons.

Nothing in life comes without a price and everything worth having is worth fighting for, (non violently of course).

Now let me just say, I have never had anything delivered from Barneys but I am successful, and educated and I still learn as much as I teach.

And it is just because of that work ethic that today I am able to sit with my mentor and share history and stories and memories, ah such beautiful memories.

That relationship was difficult to cultivate, and even more difficult to maintain but to this day, it is one that I consider sacred and very much worth the effort.

What relationships are you presently cultivating?
Where do you see it 20 years from now?
What are you gaining?
What are you giving?
Where will it take you?

Hmmmmmmmm....


Namaste

Taking Action...

"Action is a great restorer and builder of confidence...
Inaction is not only the result but the cause of fear.
Perhaps the action you will take will be successful; perhaps different action or adjustments will have to follow.
But any action is better than no action at all."

Norman Vincent Peale
1898-1993
Author, the power of positive thinking

This is one of my favorite quotes of all time.

How true is it that inaction creates fear, what does our mind generally do when left alone to ponder...?

May be it's a conversation that we are avoiding having..
May be we have been ignoring a situation that needs to be dealt with.
May be the bank keeps calling.

Any action we take towards the solution, any action, is an immediate step towards peace.

Whether you begin to write that letter, finally ask for help, or even just simply, pick up that call, you are setting your self free.

Look at your obstacles, what step will you take today to breathe easier?

look at your life with this obstacle tackled, tamed and under control,
see it clearly, experience that sensation deeply,
Sweet right? Feels good right?

Namaste

Ah..... Disappointments.

Dealing with disappointment can be such a slippery sloap...

Let's take a look at that for a second.

For me, once I drop that giant pile of mixed up messed up emotion into my lovely, feelings strainer, I usually realize that all I have left is expectation!

Expectation's really stink.... I've studied my share of Budhism and trust me, letting go of expectation, especially in this day and age, seems nearly impossible.

Let's go over some possible solutions..

Mine, let go and let (you can fill this in)..
Giving things up to faith, to a higher power, to someone, something greater than ourselves is a beautiful thing.

What usually stops us from giving into this concept freely is fear, loss of control, and a lack of trust.

So let's all give this a shot next time we feel great disappointment..

Let's realize that we can't always drive life our way.

That sometimes expecting a bit less is a good thing.

That letting go can be freeing and quite remarkable.

And above all to not fear the outcome..

It will be as it's meant to be... It always is.

Namaste

Life in Black and White

I just attended a great meditation class at the Drolma Buddhist Center in Fort Lauderdale.

I wanted to share a simple meditation technique used that night...It was simple but powerful.

Once in a comfortable position begin to breathe in the most beautiful white light imaginable,
imagine that each inhale is full of love and light, see it as healthy, as "God" like.

Now on the exhale, see (in your minds eye) your breath becoming dark and black...
see it as black smoke full of all the toxins and negativity hiding inside.

Breathe in white, pure, healing..
Breathe out black, toxic and negative..

Focus on the breath.

Let all the white light find and force all the black out of your body, your life.

In and out,
In and out.

Enjoy,
Namaste